As pie nt dating websites

16-Nov-2017 09:23

Recently I encountered a problem while collaborating with a group therapist with whom I share a patient.

My patient has progressed quickly in therapy, as do many adults on the spectrum. It took a few sessions to realize this fine gentleman suffered mightly with the symtoms of Asperger Syndrome, which he kept well managed and thoroughly hidden.

You might try to talk about how you are feeling–your partner turns everything around and tries to talk about everything you’re doing wrong. Even when they hurt you, they make you feel bad for the pain it has caused them. They often don’t actually feel guilty about what they have done, only that they were caught. Other people might warn you about dating your partner–if they have a track record of abuse, most likely it is only a matter of time until they abuse you. Your friends and family wish that you would break up.

If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. You might say that you aren’t comfortable staying overnight together–your partner does so anyway. He or she might get upset–especially if you try to break up with them or say that you are leaving–however, there is no underlying remorse for hurting you. He or she might say that they are sorry if they hurt you (hit you, scream at you, cheat on you…etc.) and promise that it will never happen again, but their apology is more manipulative than sincere. They might speak badly about a previous partner, claiming that their previous partner was crazy, or a bitch, or an asshole.

Now while you might start getting really excited by this prospect, this particular guy has probably gotten freaked out.

At this point, he’s afraid that everything he said in the beginning has led you to believe that you guys are a couple and he starts acting in a way that shows you this is not the case.

Well at this point, the guy realizes that you really like him, he has you, and he’s no longer worried that he could lose you to another guy.

At this point, things are probably starting to get comfortable- you make plans regularly, you’re in contact more frequently, and a relationship seems just around the corner.

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And navigate he did, dodging social errors with the same fright and determination one might actually dodge mines. He truly did not fit the criteria for Asperger Syndrome.However he did not start off as stereotypically autistic. Contrary to the stereotyoes of adults on the spectrum, my patient displayed no "meltdown" behavior, was keenly (TOO keenly) aware of people's reactions to him and exhibited no bizarre special interests or encyclopedic knowledge of vaccuum models.In fact, initially he presented as many of my patients do: shy, articulate, witty. In fact, "Joe", as we'll call him, socialized quite well.He cancels plans, he goes MIA for days at a time, he acts distant.At the root of it, the same sense of insecurity that made the guy obsessed with finding out if you like him is now scaring him into thinking that you’re going to “take his freedom away.” Generally speaking, most guys have a fear of being “trapped” in a relationship, but in this particular scenario you’re dealing with a guy who’s actions are especially dictated by avoiding unpleasant situations as a primary motivator.

And navigate he did, dodging social errors with the same fright and determination one might actually dodge mines. He truly did not fit the criteria for Asperger Syndrome.However he did not start off as stereotypically autistic. Contrary to the stereotyoes of adults on the spectrum, my patient displayed no "meltdown" behavior, was keenly (TOO keenly) aware of people's reactions to him and exhibited no bizarre special interests or encyclopedic knowledge of vaccuum models.In fact, initially he presented as many of my patients do: shy, articulate, witty. In fact, "Joe", as we'll call him, socialized quite well.He cancels plans, he goes MIA for days at a time, he acts distant.At the root of it, the same sense of insecurity that made the guy obsessed with finding out if you like him is now scaring him into thinking that you’re going to “take his freedom away.” Generally speaking, most guys have a fear of being “trapped” in a relationship, but in this particular scenario you’re dealing with a guy who’s actions are especially dictated by avoiding unpleasant situations as a primary motivator.So what was the problem I ran into with the collaborating therapist? When Joe would tear up recounting his wife's rage and disappointment, he'd hear "So Mr. " (I'm sorry to say this is a direct quote.) The general public, even many clinicians, cannot believe someone like Joe can be autistic. His wife comes home to a man who has retreated to isolation as a desperate attempt to find peace and rest.